The Scar That I Caused
by BadButt94
Summary: Ritsuka realizes that Soubi hides things, lies, and disappears from time to time because he cares for the young sacrifice, but sometimes Ritsuka wonders if his fighter really does love him. Yaoi. One-shot. This is my first Loveless ff. You've been warned
1. Chapter 1

**Scar That I Caused**

**Summary:** Ritsuka realizes that Soubi hides things, lies, and disappears from time to time because he cares for the young sacrifice, but sometimes Ritsuka wonders if his fighter really does love him. Yaoi. One-shot. This is my first Loveless ff. You've been warned.

**Ritsuka's P.O.V.**

"_I'm sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is outside the calling area…"_

"Damnit." I hissed as I hung up the phone. For the past three days, that lady's automatic voice is all I've been hearing every time I call my fighter, Soubi Agatsuma. "That bastard." I mumbled to myself as I continued the silent walk back to my hell hole of a home. Sure my two best friends, Yuiko Hawatari, a pink haired, naïve girl who became my first real friend when I transferred schools, and Yayoi Shioiri, the long, two toned, haired second best friend who's in love with Yuiko, offered to walk me home, but I politely declined. _"This walk will give me some time to think about my life."_

Things haven't been going well ever since I discover that I had fallen in love with the adult male. He's the one I run to whenever life becomes too hard. He's always there for me. He whispers 'I love you' into my ear whenever he wants. It hurt so much, at first, to hear those words slip from his lips. Every now and again I would have to stop myself from saying them back. He would hold me in his arms. He would kiss me in almost every place he could. I welcomed each touch, but now… I don't wanna even hear his voice.

He's had a tendency to go about an aggravating way of trying to protect me. I hate the way he lies to me, hides things, and disappears for days on end without telling me. Like now… The day before he suddenly disappeared, Soubi seem exhausted. When I asked him about it, he politely brushed me off. Even though he tries not to worry me, he makes me ill. Even though I constantly demand for the truth from him, he tries his hardest to make sure that it doesn't slip. I wish that he would stop treating me like a child. Despite that fact I still have ears and also because of my age and height, I'm far more mature that Soubi gives me credit for. Despite all this. Despite the pain. The heartache. The headaches. The tiresome nights. No matter what… I still can't bring myself to stop loving him…

…

…

…

When I arrived home… everything was similar. Misaki Aoyagi, my mother prepared all the foods that the 'Old Ritsuka' didn't liked. It was another one of her stupid tests to see if her true son had finally returned. It's been almost three years since the 'Old Ritsuka' disappeared and was replace by me. Every day, I strive to be that person again, even though I have no recollection as to whom or what I used to be.

But today… today was a different story. I didn't care if my mother didn't like the son she was forced to live with. Today… I was nothing but an emptied walking, talking shell of a 'nothing'. I was hungry, from almost not eating for three days, so I ate any and everything I could get my hands on. I didn't even think once about what my mother would say. For the first time that day, I actually looked up to see the shocked expression that played on my mother's face.

Just looking at her shocked expression made my apatite leave me. I gently placed my chopsticks on top of my finished bowl of rice before excusing myself form the table. Right when I passed my mother to go to my room, she grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the floor. I hissed in pain as I sat up.

"You are not my Ritsuka! Ritsuka would never disrespect his mother like that! I salved over a hot stove to make all the foods that _**my **_Ritsuka hates. How dare you disrespect me and eat them! Why don't you just leave! You're not my son! You are not welcomed here so just leave!" She yelled at me.

"… …" I didn't respond. There was nothing for me to say. It's not like it mattered anyway. She was going to beat me either way. This was nothing new.

"Fine then… I'll just beat you out of here!" He yelled before running over to the kitchen drawer and pulled out a knife.

She kneeled besides me and made a swift cut on my shoulder. I moaned as I grabbed the wound. It hurt, but I refused to voice any objections to her doing it. With any luck she just might kill me. I think that what I wanted all along. _"Since no one truly loved me. I saw no reason to stay alive in this world. There's nothing here for me to do. So what if I die… no one would miss me."_ I thought to myself as I endured the cutting.

When she realized that I was ignoring her, she dragged me by my hair up the stairs, making sure to hit my head on each step. When she threw me into the bathroom, like a rag doll, she started to punch, slap, and kick me. I don't think any of my bones were broken. I don't know why, but I felt a little relieved. I noticed that while I gripped myself, my mother grabbed the shower's removable head and tried to dry drown me before beating me with it. I was in so much pain. I knew I was crying, but the water mixed with my tears too much. It was impossible for me to tell the difference between the two.

Without my permission, my body started fighting my mother back. I tried to stop it, but it just wouldn't listen. Inside my head a faint little voice was telling me that I did have someone to live for. I didn't want to believe them, but just before slipping into unconsciousness I felt my heart and mind call out the one person I could always count on… _"Soubi"_.

…

…

…

When I felt myself coming too, I felt as though I was on some type of could. I rolled over on my side and cracked my eyes open. I was inside of a wooden home that looked more like a log cabin than a home. There was only one place that I knew of that looked like this.

"I'm in Soubi's house? But, how did I get here?"

"_**I brought you here… after you called for me."**_ I heard a calm voice call from the door frame.

There stood Soubi with two cups of a steaming liquid and a smile.

"Oh. I said as I turned away from him and pulled my knees into my chest. _**"When did you finally decide to get back?"**_ I asked in a harsh tone.

"Earlier today. Here… drink this. It'll make you feel better." He offered as he sat next to me on his bed.

I wanted to be rude and throw the hot liquid in his face, but I just couldn't. I tried to try and feel nothing for the adult sitting next to me, but who was I kidding? I know I love this guy. He makes me feel safe and comfortable. I nodded before taking the hot drink.

I was shocked when I looked at my refection in the small cup. I looked like hell. There were bandages on my arms and around my head. I wanted to cry, but stopped myself. I didn't want to appear weak in front of Soubi. I didn't want him to think that I was only dependent on him. But I was just fooling myself… Soubi Agatsuma is my everything.

I let my arms rest at my side when I felt him take my cup away before pulling me into his lightly clothed chest. That's when I broke down. Tears started spilling from my eyes as I clenched his shirt and cried into his chest.

"I'm sorry Ritsuka… I'm sorry I wasn't right there when you needed me. I promise that I will always remain where you could reach me." He promised before he kissed my crown.

"Where were you?" I mumbled into his chest.

"I went to find you the perfect birthday gift after I finally got a break from my studies. But, within those three days, I didn't find anything, so I decided to come back." He explained.

I felt enraged. All this worry over a present? I pushed the older man away from me before glaring at him. "Do you know how worried I was about you? I've been calling non-stop for three days! I was petrified that you weren't coming back. I hate you right now! You didn't have to lie to me! All I ever ask is for you to tell me the truth! I know I may not look it, but I can handle a lot more than you give me credit for, Soubi! Please stop treating me like a child! When you do that… … it makes me think that you really don't love me like you say you do." The last part came out as more of a whisper. I turned my head and hid my face behind my bangs. I felt more and more tears falling from my eyes.

The next thing next thing I knew, Soubi forced my head to face his before he captured me lips. I was shocked at first, but surrendered. Kissing was nothing new, but this one… it felt as though all the love that Soubi expresses to me, almost daily, was poured into that one long lasting passionate kiss. His hands cupped both my cheeks while I gripped at his scalp. Even though my eyes were closed, I was completely aware of everything that was going on. The way our lips molded together. Me being pulled into his lap… I knew it all. Soubi Agatsuma. The only person who can hide things and lie to me. The only one who I can get mad. The only one who can care for me like he does. The only one I can forgive for everything he does, did, or will do. The _**only one**_ I will ever love.

When we pulled apart, my violet eyes met his purple ones. His smile was so warm. I felt so safe within his arms. _"You're the only one who can shield me from the world, __Soubi_ _Agatsuma."_

"I've known for a long time that you don't believe me when I tell you those words, but I do. From the bottom of my heart I do Ritsuka. You are the most important person in my life. I wouldn't know what I'd do if I couldn't hold you anymore. I think I would be lost without you here to keep me in order." He lightly chuckled.

I didn't move. I refused to move. There was nothing I wanted more than to stay here with this man, trapped in this moment… forever. He leaned in for another kiss. I lightly parted my lips and allowed his tongue to enter and feel my cavern. Sometime during the kiss I ended up lying on my back with Soubi in between my spread legs. When he pulled away, I grabbed his face and pulled him towards me. Our foreheads were touching while my pants grazed over his lips.

"Soubi… will you… please… take… my ears…?" I panted.

"Are you sure? You're still so young. Even though you had turned another year older… you're still too young…" He said, but stopped when he saw the lust and desperation in my eyes. I don't know why, but my body ached to be touched by him and _**only**_ him. "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this now without regrets?" He asked again.

"Yes… I desperately need to be touched and filled by you. Please… Soubi. As my fighter… Please grant me this one request." I pleaded.

"_I love Soubi so much… no matter how much he leaves a scar in my heart… I could never deny myself of him."_

**Normal P.O.V.**

After hearing those words, Soubi Agatsuma nodded before reconnecting his lips with the pale soft ones below him. Ritsuka immediately wrapped his arms around Soubi's bandaged neck while ignoring the slight protest from his left arm where he was cut. The man above went under the large white t-shirt, which he leant the younger boy, to play with Ritsuka's nipples. The cat boy purred and moaned into the kiss as he arched his back in response to the older man's touches.

They pulled apart so that they could remove the giant white t-shirt, leaving Ritsuka only in his boxers. Before Soubi could attack his sacrifice's chest, Ritsuka stopped him. He felt a little embarrassed about being the only one who was half naked. Picking up on this, Soubi had quickly removed his shirt and pants before asking permission to continue. Ritsuka nodded a 'yes' before he gasped when he felt saliva, warm breath, and a slicked tongue playing and flicking at each nipple.

This was unlike anything he ever felt before. It was true that Ritsuka heard about how sex felt, but this… this was way better than he thought it should be. After completing the mission of hardening Ritsuka's nipples, Soubi moved back to kiss the panting and moaning boy.

The kiss was gentle, but the catboy's breath hitched when he felt the adult's hand start to stroke and pump him at a slow pace. Ritsuka had touched himself in the past. Just to experience it for himself. But when someone else was doing it… it was mind blowing. Soubi had to hold Ritsuka's hips down to stop the younger male to stop the bucking. With a loud moan of Soubi's name, Ritsuka's body shook as he emptied his hot seed onto the adult's hand.

After licking all of Ritsuka's essence off of his hand, Soubi leaned over and grabbed some lube from his nightstand and lathered his fingers up before he pulled down Ritsuka's boxers.

"This is going to hurt, but I'll help you relax. Just listen to everything I say." Soubi reassured his sacrifice before entering one of his digits passed the tight ring of muscles.

Soubi's junior's breath hitched again upon feeling something inside of him that _**"technically"**_ shouldn't be there. Soubi waited for a minute before he started to move and wiggle the digit around to thrust it. Between kissing, touching, nibbling, and stroking, Soubi was able to help Ritsuka relax through all three fingers. Ritsuka moaned louder when the combination of being pumped and fingers hitting his prostate dead on hit at the same time. After a few more thrusts and trying to remember the angle, Soubi removed his fingers and boxers, lathered himself up and positioned himself at a trembling Ritsuka's hole.

"Are you ready, master?" Soubi whispered in the boy's ear.

"Go for it."

And with that, Ritsuka's senior started to enter through the pulsing hole he just finished stretching. To calm and relax his partner, Soubi rubbed his hands in circles and messaged certain muscles. Once Soubi was fully sheathed inside warmth he waited for the sign to move. Ritsuka nodded and held his breath. He tried not to moan from the friction, but when Soubi plunged into that wonderfully tight hole, Ritsuka had to scream and shake.

Soubi was afraid. He thought he had seriously hurt his sacrifice. He wanted to stop, but when Ritsuka shook his head and pecked Soubi's lips, the older gentleman continued with his actions as commanded. The room started to reek of sex and sweat, but to the two lovers it was intoxicating. At first, Ritsuka's hisses were from the combination of friction and the pain he felt, but after Soubi hit his sweet spot, only moans escaped the thirteen year old. Ritsuka threw his head back and practically screamed from the pleasure, ramming, and ecstasy his body was experiencing from his new lover. With the combination of awesome sex and a nice, firm pumping of his member, Ritsuka came hard onto both stomachs and chests. He was drained. Any anger or sadness he held for his fighter was emptied as well. He slumped into the sheets. Not caring that he had blood under his fingernails from clawing up Soubi's back. After a few more hard thrusts, Soubi grunted his sacrifice's name was his hot seed filled the boy. To most, being filled with someone's seed would be gross, but to the panting and sweating couple… it was something magical.

His legs and body ached, but he didn't regret a thing from tonight. After being cleaned off and snuggle with, Ritsuka was content for the first time that day. Closing his eyes and slowing his breathing, Ritsuka was about to go to sleep.

"Ritsuka?" Called Soubi.

"Hn." Said boy answered while cracking one eye open.

"… Do you love me…?"

"I do love you Soubi. But… my heart can't take a lot of lying from you. Please lower how much you mentally hurt me… please…" Pleaded the tired boy.

Soubi smiled, kissed the boy and pulled the boy closer. "Wish granted…"


	2. Poll Info

Poll Info:

Thanks to everyone who voted in my poll. It really makes me feel loved, appreciated, and that people are actually reading my work and that I'm not wasting my time here. You guys really are the best. The winner for my 2012 poll was NaruSasu (Naru-seme, Sasuke-uke). I will be posting the one-shot I have for the couple sometime soon.

The Top 10 from My Poll:

1) NaruSasu (68-16%)

2) SasuNaru (46-11%)

3) NejiGaara (25-6%)

4) KyuuItac (23-5%)

5) ItacKyuu (21-5%)

6) KakaIru (20-4%)

7) ShikaKiba (15-3%)

8) SessInu (15-3%)

9) ShikaTemari (15-3%)

10) KibaHin (11-2%)

Thanks again for voting, but now it's time for another poll. This one, however is totally up to you, my fans. On this poll you are allowed to choose up to 5 couples from the list of 10. Whichever couple wins, I will ask my fans what they would like for me to do with the couple. I will anything from a one-shot, song fic, lengthy story, or anything my fans want to see. When a winner is chosen, I will put another poll up to see what everyone wants for this couple. After that... I will be asking everyone for ideas. More details will come about when it is time for the second poll and anything after that. This poll will be closing on March 13th, 2013. So, the only thing I have left to say is good luck to all the couples, happy voting, and please continue to read and review my stories. I love you guys ^^3!

**IMPORTANT NOTE!**

I'm sorry for the confusion to you guys. I was wondering why the past few days I was receiving people's lists of their choices. You guys were supposed to vote on the poll on my profile. I just edited so that it displays on my profile, so it should be up there by time you read this. I'm so sorry about the confusion again. But, if you go on my profile and the poll is not there, please send me a PM and I will go in and correct the problem. Once again, please forgive me for being an idiot and not checking on that. Happy voting once again.

**Few Words from Author to Reviewer:**

Also, I would like to express something to the _**GUEST **_that reviewed my **Bleach** story _**'Three Little Words'**_. I know that that story was not the best and full of mistakes, but that was when I was still getting the hang of writing. But to say that I am too young to be writing stories is an insult and you should not have taken it that far. FYI, I am 18 years old now, but when I wrote it I was 15. I read it after posting it and realized that it wasn't the best and needs some work, but I have not gotten around to doing so. I've been busy improving my writing skills and gaining more experience. And to say that I cannot write is also another harsh blow. I know that you were just being honest, and I respect that, but you could have at least looked at some of my most recent work instead of criticizing something I wrote on a whim and that is three years old. Next time, please take care in what you say and what you know, because you could start a war. I, on the other hand, do not care that you thought my story sucked, but I did take what you said into consideration and will hopefully find time to edit my past stories. Otherwise, please take the advice I give you seriously and please try a more gentle approach when reviewing people's work. There are some young writers on here, then just need a little help expanding their wings. I do not always like the way people write or think that some of their work is a little juvenile, but at least I don't tell them that they shouldn't be writing. People actually kill themselves because of comments like that.


	3. Badbutt94's Author's Note

**Badbutt94's Author's Note:**

First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting anything and for anyone who believes that this is a new chapter. I am making this author's note to let all of my fans and readers know that I will not be able to post any new chapters until after August 20th, 2013. As of right now, I am in another state, taking care of my very young siblings for my mother. She just gave birth, today, to my little brother and will need my help with the new born, 7/8 year old, 3 year old, and a 1 year old, yes people these are all of my siblings. I have been with my family for almost a month now and just found time to upload this author's note, so you can tell that I am busy. But, do not despair, once I return home and before I start college again, I will come back with a bunch of new chapters, stories, and everything you guys expect of me.

Also, on a side not, I have finally gotten my siblings on a schedule so I do have some free time during the night where I can become a beta for anyone who needs one. So, if you or anybody needs a beta for their work, let me know and I can definitely help out.

To add to this author's note, I will be posting this to all of my stories so anyone who's ever read my stories will know that I do not own any most of the characters in my stories. The only ones I do own, are my OCs and extra characters in all of my Naruto stories, Ke'Ania, Saedi, and Raven from my 'Secret Kingdom Hearts' series, and any other OCs I mentioned in the warnings. I also do not own any of the songs I have added in my stories. The only thing I do own are the plots to my stories, the design of most of the characters, and any 'music video' type of action happening in some of my stories. The only reason I am doing this and posting it to all of my stories is because I have received some messages where people were complaining and threatening to report my stories because I did not put any disclaimers in any of the chapters. Since this bothers people and since I refuse to go through the tedious process of dealing with this issue again, I am posting this author's note and will start putting disclaimers of all of my chapters and stories to please my audience and rule followers who refuse to even read my work because there is not disclaimer stated.

Another reason I am also posting this author note to all of my stories is because it has come to my attention that my past stories are shitty and they make me cringe every time I read them. I am not one of those people that will claim that every piece of work I have done is perfect and no one can tell me otherwise. I know that starting off I wasn't as good as I am now, and my work proves that. So, I have decided that, before I die, I will attempt to go back and re-do _**ALL **_of my stories to satisfy this need of mine. I don't know exactly when I will get around to it, but I can guaranty that it will happen one day.

The last thing I have to say to everyone is that I feel the need to be just a little bit closer to you guys so, if you want to, you can scroll further down this note and find my Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, and DeviantArt names so that you can follow me. On my DeviantArt account are some old pictures I drew, but I will be posting some more soon. On my YouTube account, I do occasionally post some videos of my favorite couples. If there is any requests for a video you would like for me to make with a song, drop me a request on my YouTube account or you can send it to my Facebook, Tumblr, or even pm me here. It all goes to my email so I'll get it one way or another. For those who friend me on Facebook, that is where you can get to know the non-fanfiction side of Badbutt94. For anyone that wants to follow me on Tumblr, there I will be posting any updates about my stories, videos, and artwork on there. Now, I know I'm not the best, but I do take pride in what I do and will post it regardless of people's opinions. Just like many other pictures, videos, and pieces of literature, they are there simply for anyone who wants to enjoy it.

Well, I think that's enough ranting and raving for today. Again, I'm sorry that I cannot post any chapters right now, but I will make up for it in a few months. If there are any comments/ concerns or you simply want to just drop me a line, go ahead. I will be waiting to hear from you guys.

**HOW TO FIND ME:**

**Facebook: **Blackcat Ke'AniaSora

**Tumblr: **soraxiii

**YouTube: **Badbutt94

**DeviantArt: **soraswifey


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